Monday, July 06, 2009

Medical Moments: July Begins With A Bang

July 1: Had two cysts removed. One on my arm that I'd had for 7-8 years (thought it was a over-the-counter product resistant wart) and one on my breast (the start & end of cellulitis).

Not quite prepared for:

The local does not "sting" -- it burns. Burns like hell.

Surreal moments when you see where the action in on your body, say as the doctor stitches up your arm, but you feel tugging elsewhere, like at your elbow.

Though the cysts were dot-like, the eye-shaped holes where they once were are long and deep; resulting in centipede-like stitches and "dents" where the meat was. Someone should have warned me.

My body mourned the loss by making me weepy. (Family completely enjoyed mocking me.)

July 5: Went in about 6 a.m. with incomprehensible, unbearable chest & back pain. After hours in emergency room, upper GI, EKG, x-rays and assorted other tests, I was pronounced as "not having a heart attack."

Comforting? Yes... But...

For that much pain, and all those tests, you think you should know more.

Or that they would at least know more.

I was sent home with a script for 12 pain pills and a sheet of paper that said "atypical chest pain."
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