Tuesday, August 02, 2011

This Just In... Of Tutus & Hotties

From the "Everyday odd and even cute things kids do and say" files...

The 15 year old daughter bought a tutu. Black, of course. I've got $50 that says she won't wear it to school -- or more than a few times to the mall with girlfriends who are also wearing their tutus.

But then again, where can a 15 year old wear a tutu in public? She may have retro 80s fantasies and the fashions to prove it; but she's got nowhere to go and show it.

Come to think of it, I have the same problem...

The 11 year old son has a crush on Christina Applegate. Bio-father lets him watch Married... With Children and so he met her as Kelly Bundy. *heavy sigh* Applegate's got a new show airing this fall: Up All Night, with Will Arnett and Maya Rudolph (who hubby and I have been insisting for years we all should be seeing more of). Upon seeing an ad for the new series, the son's excitement to see her is obvious.

In order to delicately insert the concept of Applegate as a person, not an object, I first say how I think she's a great comedian. But I don't think the son gets where I am going; he's got that glazed look and says something about her being "hot."

My heavy sighs are close to becoming growls. So I try again.

I try to go for completely humanizing the hottie with a, "Did you know Christina Applegate is a cancer survivor? She even had a breast removed due to it."

(Actually, Applegate had both breasts removed; but that correction only appears here for accuracy.)

"She did?" he replies, eyes now wide open in many ways.


"Did it grow back?"

Sorry, folks, but we, the bad parents, burst out in laughter. We couldn't help ourselves.

But faced with his earnest concerned face we did recover quickly. We explained that humans are not lizards, that she looks fine because there are bras, breast forms, etc. she can use. And, yeah, I snuck in a comment or two about why parents -- especially moms -- are so insistent about wearing helmets, caring for your body, safety, etc.  Because things don't grow back. No matter how much we want them to.

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