I Could Just Eat You Up, Nephew!

My nephew Nicholas is my cookie boy. Ever since he was an itty-bitty babe, I've been nibbling on him 'cuz he's so sweet. Thankfully, I have not made it into the newspapers as this poor aunt did!

From The Onion:

Aunt Threatens To Devour Helpless Newborn's Toes

WALDEN, TN—While family members stood silently by and did nothing, visiting aunt Debbie Koeler proclaimed her desire to consume the "tiny little toesies" of her nephew Daniel, a powerless infant less than one-fifth her size, after the child's christening Sunday. "Who's my little sugar pie? I could just eat you right up," Koeler threatened as she held the vulnerable child above her cavernous mouth and simulated the impending act of cannibalism on his tiny, dangling legs. "I've gotcha! I've gotcha! Yes I do! Yes I do!" Koeler then returned the confused and speechless newborn to the bouncy seat, prodded his abdomen, and disappeared behind her own hands.

Parenting: Laying Down On The Job

I giggled so much at this list of 40 ways to entertain your baby while you lay down. Not sure I should admit it, but I've done a number of these -- and not just because of cold & flu season either. *wink*

Moms Making Money In Phone Sex

Awhile ago, I interviewed women who are making money as phone sex operators. According to statements made on The View, there's been a 400% increase the number of work from home moms who make money as phone sex operators in the past 18 months. Economy related? Perhaps. In any case, the story of moms who are PSOs and phone sex work itself will be covered in depth on several ABC news shows this Monday.

Why Your Bra Doesn't Fit & How To Fix That

If you missed my interview with bra coach Ali Cudby (part one, part two), then you probably didn't hear about her new book, Busted! The FabFoundations Guide To Bras That Fit, Flatter and Feel Fantastic -- or heard that there's a contest to win signed copies of the book. Well, now you know. *wink*

Today's the last day to enter.

Singing Moms

Did you ever notice that as a mother you have all these little odd sayings... Weird sing-songy ways of announcing bed time, meal time, to comfort your children, etc. I wrote about just that over here.

Not All Balloons Are "Hot Air"

For every MyOwnPet balloon purchased from this page, $5 will go directly to help Canines for Disabled Kids.

NOTE: MyOwnPet Balloons are shipped flat and must be helium-filled. They can be inflated at most florists, party and gift stores and many supermarkets (at NO charge) and, in the event they become soft over time, they can be refilled.

Autism United - MommyMatter $300 Sears Giftcard Giveaway

Autism United Giveaway -- win a $300 Sears Giftcard at MommyMatter.com. Many ways to enter; multiple entries, even multiple entries per day.

According to the contest entry rules, I'm supposed to say why I need the $300 Sesrs giftcard... To be honest, even though my Auspie daughter is now 22, I'm still no where near financially stable. Largely due to the fact that diagnosis was so late, but also because raising a special needs child is expensive.

Gardasil In The News -- Sorta

Moron More on Gardasil...

I'm sure you've heard about Michelle Bachmann stepping in it again, this time taking one individual and unverified comment and making the claim that "Gardasil led to mental retardation." I won't jump to Bachmann's defense; but, as usual, I continue to harbor more than reservations about the vaccine -- how can you ignore deaths?

But there's more to the story... Check it out at my other blog: In Which Gardasil & I *Almost* Make The News (Or, Ethics In Medicine & Media).

Back To School: Win A Copy Of Surban Diva's Book!

The kids are back in school, so now you have more time to read, right? Why not celebrate by treating yourself to a copy of Suburban Diva: From The Real Side Of The Picket Fence, by Tracey Henry -- in fact, I'm giving away five free copies of the book!

There are many ways to enter...

To Enter:

* Follow me on Twitter: @DPopTart. (Please leave your Twitter username in your comment so I can check.)

and/or

* Tweet the following:

I entered @DPopTart's contest to win a FREE book by @Subdiva! http://t.co/BQyH9NP

(Remember to come back here and leave a comment with your tweet for me to verify.)

You may tweet your entry once a day.

and/or

* Friend me on Face Book: Deanna Dahlsad. (When making the request, note that you are entering the contest.)

and/or

* Post about this contest at your blog or website -- if you do this you must include in your post to this contest post or Motherhood Metamorphosis in general.

(Please include the link to your blog post in the comments section so that I can find your post.)

and/or

* Post your entry as a comment -- if you do this, please make sure I've got your email address, because if you're the winner I'll need your email address to contact you regarding your shipping information.

Here's the giveaway fine print:

* Giveaway is open to US residents only
* Be sure that you leave your email so that I can contact you
* Contest ends September 15, 2011; entries must be made on or before midnight, central time, September 14, 2011. Winners will be announced/contacted on September 16, 2011. Winners have 48 hours to respond; otherwise, I'll draw another name.

Vintage Thoughts On Child's Play, Toys & Friends

Inside Variety Fair: A Household Digest (copyright 1948, Community Services, Inc.; my copy book published by and presumed to be a fund-raiser for the American Legion Auxiliary, Benjamin A. Remmele Unit No. 7, Sleepy Eye, Minnesota), a section on children:

Choice Of Companions

A child needs freedom in choosing his companions. Adults dictating to the child as to whom he can play with, results in his being especially desirous of playing with those his parents consider unfit. The parents should try to get associated with his playmate, perhaps they misjudged the child. It may take seeing the playmate in his own home to bring the fact to his attention that he isn't a suitable playmate.

Play is the young child's means of learning, for through it he develops physically, mentally, emotionally, and socially. He needs the kinds of play experiences that will contribute to his best growth.

Much of the child's play is patterned after the activities of the adults around him. He likes to pretend that he is a father, a doctor, a train conductor, a garbage man, or any one of hundreds of other characters. The toys he needs for such play consists of housekeeping materials, dress-up clothes, empty cartons and cans that he can use in a "grocery store," dolls, and any other materials that can help him to carry out his interests. Ingenious adults can be helpful in furnishing just the right material at just the right time if they are alert to the child's imaginings.

There should be a place to put the child's toys. Shelves are much more satisfactory than boxes for storage because they allow the child to see all his toys and to get the one he wants without having to more others. If his toys are in a box he may have to take everything on top out to reach the toy which is at the bottom. This is a discouraging process and is not conducive to his learning to put away his playthings.

Later in childhood a child likes to have a place to call his own, where he can go for recreation when he wants to be alone; he needs a place in which he can be solitary at times.

Families who play together are likely to live together successfully. The older child can do much toward planning family good times. Given the responsibility for such planning, he may discover that his family members are much more interesting people than he has realized.

This Just In... Of Tutus & Hotties

From the "Everyday odd and even cute things kids do and say" files...

The 15 year old daughter bought a tutu. Black, of course. I've got $50 that says she won't wear it to school -- or more than a few times to the mall with girlfriends who are also wearing their tutus.

But then again, where can a 15 year old wear a tutu in public? She may have retro 80s fantasies and the fashions to prove it; but she's got nowhere to go and show it.

Come to think of it, I have the same problem...

The 11 year old son has a crush on Christina Applegate. Bio-father lets him watch Married... With Children and so he met her as Kelly Bundy. *heavy sigh* Applegate's got a new show airing this fall: Up All Night, with Will Arnett and Maya Rudolph (who hubby and I have been insisting for years we all should be seeing more of). Upon seeing an ad for the new series, the son's excitement to see her is obvious.

In order to delicately insert the concept of Applegate as a person, not an object, I first say how I think she's a great comedian. But I don't think the son gets where I am going; he's got that glazed look and says something about her being "hot."

My heavy sighs are close to becoming growls. So I try again.

I try to go for completely humanizing the hottie with a, "Did you know Christina Applegate is a cancer survivor? She even had a breast removed due to it."

(Actually, Applegate had both breasts removed; but that correction only appears here for accuracy.)

"She did?" he replies, eyes now wide open in many ways.

"Yes."

"Did it grow back?"

Sorry, folks, but we, the bad parents, burst out in laughter. We couldn't help ourselves.

But faced with his earnest concerned face we did recover quickly. We explained that humans are not lizards, that she looks fine because there are bras, breast forms, etc. she can use. And, yeah, I snuck in a comment or two about why parents -- especially moms -- are so insistent about wearing helmets, caring for your body, safety, etc.  Because things don't grow back. No matter how much we want them to.

Rummage Sale In Fargo Today & Tomorrow

If you live in the Fargo-Moorhead area, check out our rummage sale at 14 6th Avenue N in Fargo.

Lots of kids books, games and toys, and kids clothes -- including new snowpants, rocker tees, boy's shorts (boys sizes 8 to 12-ish), Green Bay Packer shirts, girl's pajamas, girl's jeans (some with tags even!) All just 50 cents each.

In fact, everything's 50 cents unless marked, so come on down!

We're open until at least 6 pm tonight and open again at 9 am (til 6-ish) Saturday too.

Also:

* boy's bike: newer Harley-Davidson bicycle $20 (or best offer)
* a Spiderman skateboard ($5)

Plenty of miscellaneous, including vintage and collectibles -- and a hella amount of Christmas items.