Coloring For Grownups

Spending time with all three children can be difficult. We've got the age differences (5, 9 & 16), the abilitiy differences to pay attention (with the oldest), and then of course, the boy wants cars while the girls have limited interest in them (and he has a low tolerance for Bratz dolls and 'girl things'), so what do we do? Lots of crafts, and coloring.

To make it more interesting for myself, I like to title my 'art'.

The first captures my thoughts on medical care in this country, and is titled "My HMO"



The second, named for the way I colored it & hubby's reactions to it, is called "Flamboyant Aliens Take Our Hot Pants:



With this new trick, I know I'll enjoy coloring more *wink*

Laundry: A Holiday Gift

The holidays include laundry. Not just the pretty velvet dresses and fancy holly berry hot pads, but the gifts of laundry. You might call them gifts of clothing, but as The Momma, I know what they are: more laundry.

Since they are gifts, they are often less than practical items, requiring special washing instructions. For the teenage girl there are lycra tops and jackets with velvet trim. For the 9 year old girl, sweaters and pjs with feather trim, and countless tops and even jeans with sequins. Hubby receives dressier shirts, some with silk content, and a few sweaters with textures which warn me of special care needs.

I used to peek at the labels for care instructions as the gifts were opened. But no longer. I remember the Christmas of 2001, when I was caught looking at the labels for washing instructions. Not wanting to appear like the slave to fabric content that I am, I blurted "I'm just checking the sizes." My mom, convinced was implying the clothes wouldn't fit, waved her hands about - complete with shrill squeaking in self defense: "I shopped off my your list! I only bought the sizes you had written!"

The shockwaves were still felt in Christmas 2002 & 2003.

So now, I no longer read tags at gift openings. I wait until item appear in the laundry.

This greatly slows laundry time. Normally, as The Momma, I know instantly the bulk of her black cotton/ramie hand-wash-flat-dry sweater, the slip of his hand-wash-reshape casual-dress shirt, the pattern of her hand-wash turquoise sequined blouse (even when inside out) and know that if it is here, the matching sequin jeans likely are as well...

But with new items, it's read every darn tag for instructions, until eventually, I equally match their weight, texture & color with their care instructions. I study them well, so that eventually, I'll recognize them all by sight & touch, and know their special quirks of care. I'll even know the very blue of her jacket with velvet - and as it turns out, silk - applique, so that I may rescue it from the laundry & move it to the dry clean only pile. I'll of course wash like colors as I can. And if the lavender feathered pajamas, by virtue of color & content, require the first few washings on their own, I'll do that too. All in the name of laundry safety.

Every now & then, a grandma will give the girls a 'just because' gift. Often without my knowledge, it will appear in the laundry pile, and a new bulky sweater, by absence of large silver snaps, an over-sized zipper, a special belt or hood, will be mistaken for 'the usual' sweaters - ones which do not require special care. This too has happened with other special care items hiding in the family laundry... Now too small for our children yet too large for Bratz dolls, or wrinkled beyond recognition, these dark secrets languish in the laundry room between items which need buttons & mending and items which need ironing.

Perhaps not coincidentally, to the left are the stacked boxes of holiday decorations & linens.

Busy Holidays

I've been busy, like most moms, so I've neglected the blog. You can (and really should!) read my holiday thoughts as written at other sites:

Why I don't like thinking about Christmas until after Thanksgiving.

Why I don't think I can possibly simplify the Holidays.

Thoughts on why adults aren't so excited at Christas time.

And, I also pose the question: What kind of greeting cards do you send at holiday time?

And, you can read my series: "Whose Holiday Memory Is This?", Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.

Quick Notes

I've been remiss, & I apologize...

We started a book reviewer program at Ephemera Bound, if you are interested.

While you await real updates here, please view my latest column at Backwash.

And I have re-started Big Mouth Promotions, in blog format. Right now, I am busy compiling older articles there, but stay tuned for new information to arrive.

Calling All Biblophiles!

The printing arm of our company, Ephemera Bound Publishing, has arranged for donated books to get directly into the hands of those who have survived hurricane Katrina.

By partnering with the Salvation Army of Houston, which is already helping many of the survivors & evacuees, the donated books will get to the people who need them.

AND using the power of BookCrossing.com, both giver & reciever have the opportunity to communicate!

Our children are excited at the prospect of helping other children & are looking for books to send off! What a great way for all of us to participate!

Read more, and please pass the link along!

Many thanks to Backwash.com for helping to promote this!

Selfish, Just Selfish

As promised, I am back to post my serious thoughts to my middle child's mom getting married to suddenly.

Who does this to a child?

Who wakes up one morning and decides to make a major life decision? A 'free spontaneous person' might, I suppose. But when you are a parent, decisions like this affect your children. You may have the right to do such a thing, but that doesn't mean you should do so.

Des, the middle child, had no clue this was coming. She didn't know that mom was dating this man -- she thoght he was just a friend. Strange, because Des has told us before of mom's past boyfriends, engagments & break ups... Yet she knew nothing of this 'plan.'

Not only does this marriage affect Des, but her little brother. And her new step-father has a little 4 year old girl as well.

Based on Destiny's reaction, my guess is (and this is all I have here) that none of the children knew they were about to become family.

But it get's worse.

At the wedding, when all 3 kids are introduced to not just the idea of becoming family, but new family members themselves, they are at this time notified that they all will be moving as well. Neither husband nor wife has a space large enough for their new family, so they are moving.

Way to go, parents. Let's drop as many bombs as possible at once. This is the sort of security children need & crave.

...I am just waiting to hear that there's a new baby on the way too...

Now, admittedly, I know very little of these people. I do not know what lies in their hearts, their minds. But I do see their actions. And I do see how at least one child in this situation feels. It's written in her eyes. And I'm sure as time passes, she will grow in the ability to form questions based on all of this. Since I do not know the people, the parents, involved in this situation, I cannot give her answers. I cannot reassure anything other than the status of our home, our family.

Since I do not speak with these people often, I try to think fairly that they have 'their reasons,' and remember 'who am I to judge?'

But I do know this: Destiny's mom called on Sunday to discuss where to pick Destiny up after he weekend visit with mom et all... she joked about things, gave directions, but not once did she mention what was going on -- why all the sudden changes. She didn't tell me, she didn't tell dad. It was as if their actions needed no explanation, no reasoning was involved.

So I do not know part A, but I do know part B:

'Who am I to judge?' I'm the step-mom. The one who has the duty to care for her daughter. The one who loves her daughter & worried about her -- even when mom seems oblivious to it all.

"I Just Found Out"

It's just another rainy Thursday morning. We were scheduled to have another rummage sale (even had an ad in the paper), but when we awoke to a grey sky spewing water, we posted a sign with a 'rain date' and said we'd move on to other things.

We spend most of the morning talking shop, and then the hubby's cell phone told him he had voice mail (my thoughts on the stupidity of technology reserved for a later date). He calls in to listen to the 'missed call,' and then...

"Hi, it's (the ex-wife), I just found out I am getting married today."

She continues with her message inviting us to her wedding in the park (see opening paragraph on the weather), but frankly, I'm shocked. No, I am laughing. Laughing my a** off.

I mean, come on, you don't "just find out" you're getting married. And this is her phrasing. Repeated over & over again, as in "...again, I just found out, you are getting all the notice I'm getting".

Huh?

Perhaps this was making things clearer for her, but it only made things that much more odd. I'll be back with my rational mommie thoughts in a bit, but for now, let's just enjoy the moment...

Top 5 Possible Scenarios In Which You Discover You Are Getting Married Today

Ed McMahon Shows Up At Your Door With Balloons And Invitation
And you don't even remember entering the contest.

Your Mail Order Groom Arrives With A 2 Days Left On His Green Card
There's no time to think, just 'do!'

You're Difficult To Throw A Surprise Birthday Party For
Your birthday's in January, your pals figure you'll never see this whole wedding thing coming.

You've Been Ignoring The 'Yellow' Notices In The Mail, But Now That You've Got A 'Pink' Notice, You Open It
Like those notices from the power company... Finally the warnings are over, and you have to comply.

You're Application For Survivor Found It's Way Into A FOX Producer's Hands
(Let's hope the cash compensation is worth it.)

Family Schedules

Being the Chicken Pot Pie Family that we are, we need to have some organization around the house. Not that hubby & I are poster-children for organization. Hardly. We have to over-come our natural tendencies toward creativity, spontaneous activity, & impulsivity.

But if we are to survive as a family, and enjoy our lives, as we travel 800 miles for one child, return in time to get the other child, fit in counseling, work, & feed ourselves, we needed a plan.

In the creation of our plan, we focused not just on the things that needed to get done (as self employed folks, we need to schedule work time so we can pay bills), but we looked at the things we weren't doing (as in no one wants to return from a 9 hour drive, unload the van & then clean the house -- no matter how bad it looks), and we kept an emphasis on the fun things we can do as a family.

And we needed to be flexible, because no matter how well we plan, how great our intentions are, 'things' just crop up, and bite us in the old scheduling-butt. So, our plan includes parent meetings to discuss work & family priorities, allowing for us to adapt the schedule as needed.

While the schedule is flexibility based, there are some firm plans:

Monday is "Family Game Night"
Wednesay is "Cleaning Day"
Saturday is "Family Movie Night" **

Now, while I said these are 'firm,' obvisously, we don't let plans get in the way of The Point. The Point being our work as parents. So, if the children are not behaving, be it one or all of them, they loose the privledge of game or movie night.

And recently, when our central air died, we didn't really do the cleaning we ought to have -- it was never lower than 87 degrees for 3 days (yes, even at 2 a.m.). Why be firm on the schedule just to flex with the trip to ER?

And then, we have daily things as well. For example, we all go on family walks (weather permitting).

The bottom line: Organizing your family should be workable, which means flexible, and always focused on your family goals.

** This family activity, does count towards 'TV Time.' Yes, we are those kind of parents. More on that next!

Family Fairy Tales

Once upon a time, there were two little girls. Young as spring, fresh as morning, and sweet as Georgia peaches. Well, one was, the younger one was a brat. But that is for another time.

Because the little girls were so loved by their parents, they were often given snacks. Not just any snacks, no, they were often given healthy snacks of natural foods, such as fruits (which could just as easily be described in terms of the oldest girl herself!). This was as much for allowing their bodies to grow healthy as it was to make the girls smile.

One fine day, the two young ladies, after properly & politely requesting a mid-afternoon snack from their PaPa. They were delighted to watch him unwrap the cellophane from the snack-pack-set of Sun Maid raisons, and gleefully clapped as they awaited to receive a box of delicious, juicy raisons - yes, one whole snack-pack-sized box each!

PaPa was in the kitchen, and his two cherubs (well, again, the older one was anyways!) gently opened the boxed there, in order to snack & converse with their beloved PaPa. (Chewing with their mouths closed, and not speaking until they had properly chewed each mouthful 20 times before swallowing, as it should be done.)

And so the happy family, sans the mother who was likely working at a restaurant - waiting on some impolite family with ungrateful children, chatted happily in the kitchen.

Suddenly, the oldest child flushed with embarrassment, cried out 'Oh PaPa! We never even offered you any of our lovely raisons! Here, please, take some!' and she thrust the box toward him, offering him the open end, so he could help himself.

PaPa was happy to see his eldest sincerely offer to share, but he was not hungry himself. As he thought of a polite response that would not make the little girl fret with worry that his refusal was based on her proffering the raisons late, he took a peek into the box before him -- Oh, my!

At this moment PaPa grabbed the box, then he grabbed the box from the youngest girl's hands (which I might add, took a bit of a tug, because the little sister didn't like to share!), and then he quickly turned & just as quickly ran.

The girls were too shocked to be upset - never had PaPa moved so quickly!

Naturally, they ran after him. 'PaPa! PaPa!' they cried.

They followed him all the way to the bathroom, where he held the boxes above the toilet. It was at this point that PaPa saw the tears streaming upon his firstborn's face, and he knew that the little girl thought this was some punishment for being late to offer to share. He knew he had to tell the little girls the truth, but he didn't know how...

How could he tell them without upsetting them more?

Slowly, he lowered the two boxes of raisons, and told the girls to look inside...

The two girls peered inside the boxes, past the folded box flaps, down to about the halfway point where the remaining raisons rested. At first they were confused... what did PaPa want them to see...

Then suddenly the oldest gave a yelp, and then clutched her stomach. The youngest screamed & jumped back. There, mixed in with the dark black wrinkled raisons, were little... tiny... white... squirming... worms!

It was then that PaPa threw-up.

The remaining raisons & their 'friends' were dumped into the toilet as well, flushed to hell, as they should be - for God's creatures should know better than to mess with such a nice family's food.

The boxes, the two empty ones & all those that remained in the cupboard, were thrown in the trash. Double-bagged. Then removed from the house.

And that was the end of that.

No one from the family will discuss the event.

No one from the family ate raisons for 10 years. And then, it was only in baked cookies at holiday time.

And no one, I mean no one, chews their food 20 times before swallowing - even if it is after inspecting it closely, which should always the be the case.

Fancy Water

"Water flows uphill towards money."
~ a saying in the American West, quoted by Ivan Doig in Marc Reisner, Cadillac Desert, 1986 ~

Everybody is big on water. Hmm, that sounds like a statment regarding bloating....

Well, anyway, every one is talking about how great water is for you.

Water helps to flush toxins out of the body.
Water is involved in every metabolic function in our bodies.
Water makes up 75% of the body's muscle.
It distributes nutrients properly throughout your body, promotes healthy skin and aids in digestion.

And there are many dieting tips as well, like this one:

Drink cold water: the body burns 100 more calories per liter when a person drinks cold water.

All of this has made Americans guzzle the agua.

A 2003 study performed by the Beverage Marketing Corporation, shows that for the first time ever, Americans bought more bottled water than they did coffee, milk or beer. Not surprisingly, bottled water has become an $8.3 billion business and has been increasing rapidly each year.

However some say that bottled water is no better than tap water, really. It's treated more and may taste subtly better & it's very convenient in a plastic bottle.

But the Natural Resources Defense Council, and environmental group that did a similar study in 1999, argues that most Americans don't know what they are paying for:

"Many bottles of water are sold with pretty mountains on the label, with evocative name like Everest, that suggest it comes form a pristine mountain stream, when in fact, many bottles of water come from city tap water. Bottled water has a huge marketing campaign to try to persuade the public that it's cleaner and purer and safer, and that's why the bottled water business has been booming in the last 10 years," said Erik Olson who led the NRDC study.

But nutritionists and environmentalists say for the most part, bottled water is well, water. Even the brands that come from mountain springs are not much better for you than the stuff you can get from your faucet.

Which means, once again, that Americans are willing led by marketers, eager to buy convenience products. Big business makes a killing off bottled water drinkers.

Folks who would be just as well drinking from the tap.

Did you also know that 88% of Americans who drink bottled water reuse the container? It may help the environment a bit, but there are a few other things to consider...

New research shows that the type of plastic (called PET plastic) used in most disposable bottles isn't sturdy enough to be used on repeated occasions. It also isn't sturdy enough for dishwasher treatments, direct sun, high temperatures, or rough handling.

During the research, a variety of water bottles were used in these stress tests, and researchers have found that the longer bottles were reused, the more likely plastic materials from the containers were to leach into the water. Other research demonstrates that frequent washing may not prevent bacteria buildup in reused PET bottles.

It's ok to reuse the bottle once or twice, but it's not considered a wise decision to prolong it's life too long.

Which means you might be just as well off to drink from the garden hose...

...unless you'd like to support those in marketing *wink*

Birthdays

Given the complicated status of our family, and the plethora of birthdays in our household (Allie was 19 on May 30th, Hunter became 5 on June 10th, Destiny is 9 today -- Happy Birthday, beautiful!, myself on June 21st, & Derek on June 29th), we had one large family gathering on Sunday with all the local family & my parents who came 'up' from Wisconsin.

I'd like to share with you some of the gems of the day...

Just as dinner is finishing up, Hunter pipes up with "I love this Fargo house." Several folks comment, "Good!" and "Isn't it a nice house!" Then Hunter says "I like it so much, I don't even care what it looks like." He giveth. He taketh away.

Destiny reads her birthday cards, in a very clear, loud voice, mostly very expressive. She gets to the scripted signature and reads "Dr Grandpa" instead of "Great Grandpa." Which naturally became the joke for everyone to do when reading their cards -- poor kid makes one mistake, and she can't live it down... Then again, she's such a ham, she probably did it on purpose!

Most Bloggy of Entries

I promise not to write about my cat's digestive issues, or how I have nothing to write, but from time to time I will make posts that are more of the snippet/link combinations simply because I am in a time crunch. Today is one of those days.

We've been having rummage sales to make more room in our basement -- in light of leaving 2 booths in the antique mall, our inventory grew faster than we could list it -- it runeth-over & we need some space. While I stood guard over the sale, hubby ran back & forth teaching the middle child, Destiny, how to ride her bike. As I tried not to watch her (she was extremely embarrassed & frustrated), I did notice how many passes he made up & down the block...

Since there's a-whole-lotta-bike-riding-goin'-on, we did have our first flat bike tire too. Hubby let Hunter watch as he took off the tire, exposing the balloon tube beneath. They both found the hole, and then later told Destiny all about it. Such men! lol

I am so lucky I am to have hubby. For so many reasons. But I was acutely aware of how much better he is at the 'Daddy Jobs' involving large muscle groups and tools.

I was also aware that this automatically leaves me the "body changes" talks -- because I'm the Mommy. Hopefully this is a ways off yet... The oldest still has issues with this, so I'm not looking forward to Round 2 of Girl Talk. (Though, oddly, I am interested in how it will go with the boy...)

In other news, let me gush about how brilliant hubby is. OK, being short on time, it's more like 'show you' what cool thing he's done now...