Get Those Babies Ready For Spring!

I don't blog much about babies; it's been years since I've had any, and my advice all seems old hat. But when I spot a product line that I wish was around back in the day I was lugging babies & toting toddlers, I have to mention it.

Cozy Cover is a Minnesota company offering some great new items that make taking baby out and about easier and safer. First, there are nifty (and cozy) covers that go over infant carriers. The original designs are for warmth, but, just in time for Spring, there are new arrivals for protecting baby from sunlight, rain, and bugs.

Perhaps most exciting are the other products designed to make life with a baby a less clunky, more portable, affair.

The On-The-Go Changing Pad is a much smaller version of the old diaper bag. Along with the necessary diaper changing pad, there are expandable pockets for diapers, creams and wipes, and a zippered pocket for keys keys, I.D. card, and the like. The Velcro handle allows for it to be attached to stroller etc., which means less weight on your shoulders.

The Portable Easy Seat means no more packing up the highchair -- or hoping one is available at the restaurant. Simply unfold the Portable Easy Seat from it's matching carrying bag, and convert any chair with a back into a safe place for baby to sit. The 5 point safety harness and adjustable back keeps baby secure.

 

Cozy Cover products are also available at Amazon -- which is especially great for Prime members!

(If you are not a member of Amazon Prime, get a free trial here.)

A Superhero In Underpants

A number years ago, while I was up late writing, I smelled smoke. I anxiously left the computer and began walking around the house, using my nose to lead me to the source. Before I could get all the way to the kitchen, the smoke detector went off upstairs. I ran to the stairs and looked up to the top to see my husband, sleepy-face and in his underpants, tossing water from a small bathroom Dixie cup onto a smoking wall by our bedroom.

When I got to the top of the stairs, hubby explained that the space heater we used to heat the upstairs had overloaded the outlet and started a fire. He held the now unplugged and melted plug up as evidence. The white wall was charred, but there was no more smoke. The wall no longer felt warm, but we were concerned that there might be fire inside the wall that we could not detect, so we called the fire department to be on the safe side.

All the noise woke Destiny (then all of 8 or so). She opened her bedroom door and zombie-walked out to see her dad in his boxers, the small cup still in his hand. We briefly explained the situation and that the firemen were on their way, just to be sure the fire was out. Her large blue eyes got even wider, but she didn't say a word and just went back to bed. Apparently, seeing dad on the job was all the reassurance she needed.

To this day, we discuss hubby's superhero costume as consisting of his underpants and a Dixie cup.

My superhero costume is very different; but that's another story for another day.

Have Tech Gadgets; Will Travel (But How Long Will They Last?)

As parents we often wish we had magic wands -- perhaps at no time is this more desired than during long family car rides.

Our monthly visits back home are roughly 9 hours long; that's a long time for a family to be contained in a moving vehicle. While all the children ought to be kept busy with their phones and gadgets, there comes a time when batteries run low. A can of pop, a snack, and some conversation will help the driver (if not, there's a switch of drivers); but when the batteries on the tech gadgets run low, well, that's a tougher fix. If you've ever driven in a car with three kids, you know it's tough enough without having to add in the problem of dead electronics. One whiny kid can cause a whole lot of problems -- including annoying and provoking the other kids. And when the kids are grumpy and loud, they make for one cranky driver. That's not the safest way to travel.

The simple math is that there are at least five devices but only two plugs on the car charger. But let's face it; as adults, our calls, email checks on our smartphones, use of Pandora, etc. are necessary. And we parents insist that our phones must be kept charged in case of, you know (*knock on wood*), an actual emergency. Knowing that giving one child the gift of recharging means we need to give the other children the same help makes us a bit reluctant to open that whole can of worms.

So, facing another trip back home for the holidays, I was excited when the folks at Powerocks offered to send one of their latest creations, a pocket-sized mobile charger to review. ...But could it be too good to be true?

The Powerocks Magicstick 2800mAh Universal battery charger is indeed a portable and lightweight mobile charger. Once charged, it has enough power to recharge your phone up to two times (or two phones, one time each).

It charges like most any other gadget, with a USB port cable connection; you know the Magicstick is fully charged when the push-button LED light is blue. To use it, just detach the cord, then flip the cord around so that the USB connection is in the Magicstick and connect the other end to your phone or gadget. Easy!

The LED light also lets you know when the Magicstick needs to be recharged. The green light means it's about half-charged; the red light means it's about out of power.

Just under 4 inches, the Magicstick fits easily into purse or pocket. The USB cable is compact enough to not be a problem -- yet long enough to not make charging awkward.  And the Magicstick comes in several colors, so each family member can quickly identify their own.

While we haven't yet left for our holiday road trip, hubby and I have already put the Magicstick to good use. As "pickers" and antique dealers, my husband and I do a fair amount of driving around. That means we use our mobile smart phones quite a bit. Between the navigation apps to find the barns and out-of-the-way places, the camera to take photos of what we find, and the necessary email and phone communications, our phone batteries are drained quite easily. Believe me, it is quite embarrassing to be standing in someone's barn and not have enough juice to take a photo to email to another expert. (Mike & Frank aren't the only one's who have to do that you know!) Having a Magicstick in your pocket means you can manage your business and not look like a fool.

Now that our family trip is just days away, I'm excited to be able to better manage our family's cell phone and gadget power. (I'd say "without looking like a fool," but you know we parents are always made to look like fools, right?)  

Powerocks Magicsticks may not be the almighty magic wands we parents are looking for, but when it comes to cell phones and gadgets, these portable chargers do wonders.

On Kids & Collecting

Collecting is a self-directed activity about passion. In our world of (sometimes overly) scheduled activities, the meandering, self-directed, self-motivated journey of collecting is quite foreign to many -- including children. They go from school, to organized activity to another organized activity. Even video games have pretty rigid rules (at least if you want to win!). And so the free-wheeling dealings (free-stylin’, as the American Pickers say) of collecting can seem incredibly foreign to many.

It's rather a shame, as kids, including special needs kids, can learn a lot from collecting -- everything from how to handle money to becoming becoming self-starters, and even create more nerds (and the world needs more nerds!).

To help parents and others encourage children to collect, I've written Ten Ways To Encourage Kids To Collect.

The Choice Of Motherhood

This is difficult to write -- but then that's why I feel it must be discussed.

Feminist and author Alice Walker and her daughter, Rebecca Walker, have been at odds over motherhood. Rebecca, after so much prose about snuggling and the like with her son, says:

You see, my mum taught me that children enslave women. I grew up believing that children are millstones around your neck, and the idea that motherhood can make you blissfully happy is a complete fairytale.

In fact, having a child has been the most rewarding experience of my life. Far from 'enslaving' me, three-and-a-half-year-old Tenzin has opened my world. My only regret is that I discovered the joys of motherhood so late - I have been trying for a second child for two years, but so far with no luck.

I was raised to believe that women need men like a fish needs a bicycle. But I strongly feel children need two parents and the thought of raising Tenzin without my partner, Glen, 52, would be terrifying.

As the child of divorced parents, I know only too well the painful consequences of being brought up in those circumstances. Feminism has much to answer for denigrating men and encouraging women to seek independence whatever the cost to their families.

*sigh*

I can't help but feel that Rebecca is a bitter (adult) child, who wishes her mother was the fantasy mother so many of us feel pressured to be by society. No doubt, Rebecca feels her mother was selfish -- but there is also no doubt that she herself has benefited from the very thing that she feels abused by: feminism.

I think few people appreciate their mothers; even fewer appreciate mothers who have dedicated so much of their lives to careers, including movements. And this is less likely to be done when it is fathers who have taken on such dedication of purpose. Do we call presidents, leaders, and activists such as Martin Luther King, Jr. "selfish"? No. And it's not because their children didn't miss their fathers. But they were taught to understand their purpose. And, of course, there were mothers there to pick up all the slack from men who were, if not always away, not focused on their children so much.

But even on a smaller scale, raising a child comes with responsibilities which can and often do interfere with one's personal goals. And tradition places this more squarely on the shoulders of women. Mothers are expected to assume these duties as if this is their calling, their one true purpose and joy, to the exclusion or detriment of anything else. This belief is not just in my head either.

Employers, especially men (who still hold the majority of powerful positions regarding hiring, firing, and pay), view that it is difficult for mothers to be successful traders because connecting with a child is a focus “killer.”

Rebecca Walker can enjoy her role as mother. She may find it her greatest passion, her destiny, her true purpose -- even to the exclusion of anything else. Good for her if she has found her bliss.

However, for many of us, motherhood is far more complicated.

We struggle with our own identities and feelings of fulfillment beyond the role -- however enjoyed -- of Mother. We don't want to choose between parenting and careers -- but the very fact that we feel forced to see parenthood as a choice is a millstone around our necks.  Many of us struggle feeling pulled in different directions or parent or provider, of mother or person. Why should we have to choose? Why should we be blamed or suffer finger-waves like Rebecca's for wanting something "more" than motherhood?

Heck, many of us wish we had the luxury to even view role of parent and role of provider as options -- for providing for our children in a world which not only prevents us equal pay, but control over our own bodies, leaves us with no choices at all. Just millstones everywhere you look!

If we, including Alice Walker herself, are to respect Rebecca's feelings and choices -- shouldn't Rebecca respect ours too?

Motherhood should be a choice. Yes, "Choice" with a capital "C". As well as a choice women are less imprisoned by -- and that includes the right to feel that we are people, not only mothers, and to pursue things which take us away from our children.

Work, Work, Work (And Some Play)

Been blogging more about our family travels and restoration of the old house at It's The Journey, Not The Destination. But will be back with some parenting stuff soon!

Beautiful Memories Of A Lost Sibling

As far as I can tell, this is the source of this gripping photo and story:

This is a photo of my sister at age one and me at five. This is the only picture I have where I am holding her.

She died a decade later after this photo taken. It shows the strength of a child who was born physically and mentally disable and her motivation to keep living. She never gave up till the day she died. She survived longer than the doctors predicted. Even on this day, she will always be the strength and courage my family needs to keep living.

I share this beautiful, and, yes, sad story to remind us that even when the most fragile amongst us leave too soon, they are remembered.

Please, go read the rest. And if you're on Tumblr, every reblog results in a donation to the children with Microcephaly Foundation.

Baby Issues Matter Past The Newborn Years

While my babies are no longer babies, the Three Controversial Topics in Motherhood Worth Confronting, breastfeeding, cord blood banking, and vaccinations, are issues that matter to all of us. Not just moms either. For these issues of health matter to us all.

Women's Health Care

Should matter to you.

I Could Just Eat You Up, Nephew!

My nephew Nicholas is my cookie boy. Ever since he was an itty-bitty babe, I've been nibbling on him 'cuz he's so sweet. Thankfully, I have not made it into the newspapers as this poor aunt did!

From The Onion:

Aunt Threatens To Devour Helpless Newborn's Toes

WALDEN, TN—While family members stood silently by and did nothing, visiting aunt Debbie Koeler proclaimed her desire to consume the "tiny little toesies" of her nephew Daniel, a powerless infant less than one-fifth her size, after the child's christening Sunday. "Who's my little sugar pie? I could just eat you right up," Koeler threatened as she held the vulnerable child above her cavernous mouth and simulated the impending act of cannibalism on his tiny, dangling legs. "I've gotcha! I've gotcha! Yes I do! Yes I do!" Koeler then returned the confused and speechless newborn to the bouncy seat, prodded his abdomen, and disappeared behind her own hands.

Autism United - MommyMatter $300 Sears Giftcard Giveaway

Autism United Giveaway -- win a $300 Sears Giftcard at MommyMatter.com. Many ways to enter; multiple entries, even multiple entries per day.

According to the contest entry rules, I'm supposed to say why I need the $300 Sesrs giftcard... To be honest, even though my Auspie daughter is now 22, I'm still no where near financially stable. Largely due to the fact that diagnosis was so late, but also because raising a special needs child is expensive.

Back To School: Win A Copy Of Surban Diva's Book!

The kids are back in school, so now you have more time to read, right? Why not celebrate by treating yourself to a copy of Suburban Diva: From The Real Side Of The Picket Fence, by Tracey Henry -- in fact, I'm giving away five free copies of the book!

There are many ways to enter...

To Enter:

* Follow me on Twitter: @DPopTart. (Please leave your Twitter username in your comment so I can check.)

and/or

* Tweet the following:

I entered @DPopTart's contest to win a FREE book by @Subdiva! http://t.co/BQyH9NP

(Remember to come back here and leave a comment with your tweet for me to verify.)

You may tweet your entry once a day.

and/or

* Friend me on Face Book: Deanna Dahlsad. (When making the request, note that you are entering the contest.)

and/or

* Post about this contest at your blog or website -- if you do this you must include in your post to this contest post or Motherhood Metamorphosis in general.

(Please include the link to your blog post in the comments section so that I can find your post.)

and/or

* Post your entry as a comment -- if you do this, please make sure I've got your email address, because if you're the winner I'll need your email address to contact you regarding your shipping information.

Here's the giveaway fine print:

* Giveaway is open to US residents only
* Be sure that you leave your email so that I can contact you
* Contest ends September 15, 2011; entries must be made on or before midnight, central time, September 14, 2011. Winners will be announced/contacted on September 16, 2011. Winners have 48 hours to respond; otherwise, I'll draw another name.

Vintage Thoughts On Child's Play, Toys & Friends

Inside Variety Fair: A Household Digest (copyright 1948, Community Services, Inc.; my copy book published by and presumed to be a fund-raiser for the American Legion Auxiliary, Benjamin A. Remmele Unit No. 7, Sleepy Eye, Minnesota), a section on children:

Choice Of Companions

A child needs freedom in choosing his companions. Adults dictating to the child as to whom he can play with, results in his being especially desirous of playing with those his parents consider unfit. The parents should try to get associated with his playmate, perhaps they misjudged the child. It may take seeing the playmate in his own home to bring the fact to his attention that he isn't a suitable playmate.

Play is the young child's means of learning, for through it he develops physically, mentally, emotionally, and socially. He needs the kinds of play experiences that will contribute to his best growth.

Much of the child's play is patterned after the activities of the adults around him. He likes to pretend that he is a father, a doctor, a train conductor, a garbage man, or any one of hundreds of other characters. The toys he needs for such play consists of housekeeping materials, dress-up clothes, empty cartons and cans that he can use in a "grocery store," dolls, and any other materials that can help him to carry out his interests. Ingenious adults can be helpful in furnishing just the right material at just the right time if they are alert to the child's imaginings.

There should be a place to put the child's toys. Shelves are much more satisfactory than boxes for storage because they allow the child to see all his toys and to get the one he wants without having to more others. If his toys are in a box he may have to take everything on top out to reach the toy which is at the bottom. This is a discouraging process and is not conducive to his learning to put away his playthings.

Later in childhood a child likes to have a place to call his own, where he can go for recreation when he wants to be alone; he needs a place in which he can be solitary at times.

Families who play together are likely to live together successfully. The older child can do much toward planning family good times. Given the responsibility for such planning, he may discover that his family members are much more interesting people than he has realized.

Rummage Sale In Fargo Today & Tomorrow

If you live in the Fargo-Moorhead area, check out our rummage sale at 14 6th Avenue N in Fargo.

Lots of kids books, games and toys, and kids clothes -- including new snowpants, rocker tees, boy's shorts (boys sizes 8 to 12-ish), Green Bay Packer shirts, girl's pajamas, girl's jeans (some with tags even!) All just 50 cents each.

In fact, everything's 50 cents unless marked, so come on down!

We're open until at least 6 pm tonight and open again at 9 am (til 6-ish) Saturday too.

Also:

* boy's bike: newer Harley-Davidson bicycle $20 (or best offer)
* a Spiderman skateboard ($5)

Plenty of miscellaneous, including vintage and collectibles -- and a hella amount of Christmas items.

A Little Update: The Niece Visits

Last weekend my eight year old niece, Maddy, was here. My parents brought her up for a weekend visit. She's raised with continuous entertainment in a much larger house -- I mean our entire house, from attic to basement, would fit in their "great room." So I expected some sort of culture shock.

There were a lot of pronouncements of, "I'm bored." But I didn't expect that three minutes into a 6 minute drive to dinner for her to announce her boredom. It was her way of demanding a DVD to play or something.

But our kids know the drill and suggested she amuse herself by looking out the window.

Maddy responded ad follows:

"Red car. White car. Another red car."

"House."

"House."

"Blue car."

I responded with a twist on the old "Looking is with the eyes," usually reserved for not touching in stores. "Looking is with the eyes, not the mouth," I said.

Maddy was silent.

But you could feel her displeasure. *wink*

She also learned that pet birds make a lot of noise. She was fascinated by Luke, our cockatiel, but immeasurably annoyed by his chirps and bird-talk; she dramatically shushed him all the time.


I guess her dad can thank me when the pleading for a pet bird stops. *wink*

Overall, it was a great visit. She loved our "full of neat stuff" little house. (She's not used to so many books and knick-knacks; my sister's house is much more minimalist.) And she quickly caught on to entertaining herself by doing things like painting (I had literally given her a box of rocks for her birthday -- a rock painting kit she brought along), riding bikes and hanging out in the attic "fort."

On the way back home, Maddy told my parents that she missed "those people." So I guess we were a hit!

My mother replied to her sad commentary on loss of us by saying, "That's what vacations are; lots of fun but then you go home to the people you love."

Maddy responded by saying she sure missed, Carly, their dog. Ha!

Have You Heard? Go The F To Sleep

I doubt you missed the fabulous Go The F**k To Sleep book and video read by Samuel L. Jackson, but there's also an interview with the author, Adam Mansbach, here.

Shoeboxes

I'm forcing myself to clean up some stuff despite the fuzzy-sleepy effects of pain killers (it's been a month-long battle with my teeth; bon vivants don't have the best health & dental coverage or money to pay the balance, FYI) Anywhoo...

In cleaning up some clutter, I was reminded, again, of the importance of saving shoeboxes.

Give The Gift Of Summer Vacations

The Fresh Air Fund is in need of 1200 host families for this summer. Host families are volunteers who open their hearts and homes to children from the city to give them a Fresh Air experience that can change lives -- in just days!

What About Good Manners?

I recently had yet another conversation with our children regarding etiquette -- how it's not "snobby things" designed to make people feel bad or out of their class, but just the opposite.

The rules of etiquette are guidelines for getting along; little niceties we extend to one another to avoid upset and rules for everyone so that we all can get along in social situations. While it's true that some of these rules seem fancy, or from a formal time long gone, they primarily exist so that groups of people can avoid offending one another and avoid conflict. Avoiding conflict is key when living as a group or community, including as a family.

I was reminded of these conversations when I saw 25 Manners Every Kid Should Know By Age 9.

It's amazing the number of children who do not know or extend the courtesy of following these rules -- and I feel this adds to the feeling of entitlement in children that I wrote about here (and for which I was interviewed at The Globe and Mail). Even more amazing the number of parents who do not bother to teach their children these or any other basic good manners; they rather doom their families to less pleasant living conditions -- and sentence their children to becoming disrespectful, selfish, entitled beings who will not get along with others.

I've lots more to say about this; but today the eldest turns 22, so I'm off to prepare for the birthday barbecue!

Survey Says My Family's Not So Strange After All

According to a national survey commissioned by SleepBetter.org and conducted by Ipsos Public Affairs, one in four Americans (23%) say that Goodnight Moon is their all-time favorite bedtime story. The study also says that moms are doing the bedtime story reading 3-to-1 over dads. But what's most surprising, to me anyway, is the fact that even more popular among young children (age 7 or younger) than bedtime classic Goodnight Moon are the stories that their parents make up themselves!

Now our family has a long tradition of making up stories -- not only at bedtime, but we share them at the breakfast table, and when we spend time with extended family (holidays, etc.) we spend time sitting around making up stories together: One person starts with the first sentence, the next person adds the next line, etc., and you go around the room with each person adding a sentence until the story is finished. (Warning: This is where family issues will be aired; the little brother will mock his sister, mom will mock dad, grandma will mock mom, etc. -- which is all in good fun, unless your participating teens are surly.)

Anyway, I just thought that our kids liked our stories and storytelling time because, well, frankly, because they were weird. ...Apples not falling far from the tree, and all that. *wink*

But it turns out, this sort of "weird" is in the majority -- making us all "normal."

Now The Bedtimes Stories Project is collecting these stories in their Sleepy Tales Book.

To encourage folks to submit their original family bedtime stories (all authors retain the copyrights to their stories), The Bedtime Project's got the incredible Betty White involved! (You know I adore Betty White!)

Not only has Betty even written her very own bedtime story, Sleep Better Snowball!, but she'll be reading from the Sleepy Tales Book -- and she may also read one of the submitted bedtime stories!

If you you want your story to be evaluated as one of the stories that Betty White will read from at the May 26th event in L.A., you need to submit your story by midnight EST Sat. May 22, 2010.

Also, by the end of the program in July, one story will be selected to inspire an illustration by noted artist Bill Nelson. The deadline for a chance to have your story illustrated by Nelson is midnight EST, Wednesday June 30, 2010.

So submit you family's story asap. Who knows, it could win a really cool honor! Stranger things -- like our kids liking our made-up stories -- have happened. *wink*